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ZXVanX - Fighting Games Maniac
- Posts: 806
- Joined: Sun Jul 23, 2006 8:13 pm
- Location: In my house playing MM9
This looks promising...
But could I make a couple of suggestions?
My first suggestion would be to go back through and make sure that all of your spelling and grammer is correct. I can't tell you how many fanfics I have started to read, but then soon stopped because the writer didn't want to spell or use grammer correctly.
For an example, like this line:
"Stubborn phantom continued his way. its was raining. tundering."
It should be:
"Stubborn Phantom continued his way. It was raining, and thundering."
When you're talking about someone, or to be more specific, Phantom, you always capitalize the name.
My second suggestion is to not write in script format. My first three fanfics were in script format, like your story is here. Not really anyone read my story because of that fact. I use to think that was just stupid, but it really does make a big difference while reading.
If you don't feel right writing like my next example, then you don't have to. I'm just trying to help out.
"DR.Weil : Hahaha so you are phantom. too bad i cant let you leave this place untill the time of your destruction. Ryuoid! now's the time!"
Now for my example.
"Ha-ha-ha! So you are Phantom? Too bad I can't let you leave this place until the time of your destruction. Ryuoid! Now is the time!" shouts Dr. Weil.
"Roger!" Ryuoid replies.
I'm not trying to bring you down as a writer. I'm merely trying to help out. If it wasn't for all of the people that helped me along my way, I wouldn't have been able to write Rockman ZW as well as it has turned out.
Honestly, I like the idea of your fanfic. So I hope to see more from you.